Rosa Santoyo, M.S., L.M.F.T. Licensed Marriage, Family Therapist

Why me? - Often times there is the shock and disbelief that anyone could be experiencing infertility. We hear of others having difficulties and never expect it to affect of hit so close to home. Most people plan out their lives and establish dreams towards the future. These dreams and desires usually include having clindren. The thought of dealing with infertility doesn't enter into the scheme of life's goals. It can prove to be quite challenging. The usual focus of attention centers on the medical or physical aspects of dealing with infertility. The emotional impact is often times minimized or ignored. Yet, one's attitude towards dealing with any difficulty or challenge we face is vitally important and can affect the ultimate outcome of events.

So, What's next? When dealing with any difficult situation or crisis, we cope in a variety of ways. It is important to acknowledge one's thoughts and feelings and not deny the ange one can feel (with ourselves, our partners, the medical field, our religious beliefs). DON'T PANIC!! There are numerous coping strategies in dealing with issues of infertility. It is a natural progression of feelings to experience a sadness or depression about the potential of one's dreams not coming true.

Knowledge is power! Be informed. We sometimes become emotionally stagnant and wallow in our own grief. We can begin to feel empowered by obtaining information. Going to your physician and getting appropriate medical consultaion by specialists is the first step to moving forward in dealing with infertility. Ask questions and know that no question is unimportant. discuss medical options that make your ultimate decision less stressful and more realistic. An appropriate medical evaluation and diagnosis can point you in the right direction for you.

Treatment plans and support systems. Communication with your physician and medical staff is vital. In addition, seek out people that can listed and emotionally support you and your plans. Dealing with infertility has often been described as "riding an emotional rollercoaster.". Throughout the entire process, a person will experience ups and downs of feelings. Rebember to look towards the future and develop long-term goals.

Resolve and acceptance. People hope and expect all medical tratment to be successfull, including dealing with infertility. Remember that you are not alone. Seeking out individual counseling or support groups (like RESOLVE) can greatly assist in moving forward with your life.